I went to Mexico for my birthday and asked for bizcocho chocolate a chocolate cake and they started at me like I had two heads. Because bizcocho means cake in Caribbean Latin countries, I didn't think anything of it. Turns out in Mexico I was asking for a piece of chocolate vagina. Only in Latin America does a word have a double meaning like this: either a vagina or a grouchy old person. I asked every Dominican I know, and no one had a clue where this word came from. It sounds like something a kid made up.
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I think the LDS have been vastly over-simplifying that doctrine. I don't pity you at all. Oh well, I'll just pretend she's not mormon and see what happens. If you try to deconvert her I suggest indirectly at first. Develop Your Own Curriculum. We often wonder how we will pay our bills sometimes. I'd rather marry a doctor and let him have a mistress on the side if that means not having to worry about money. Mormons have a well-known code of health, called the Word of Wisdom.