The reality is that while God gave us a gospel of love and stands always ready to give us a helping hand, his mercy will not rob his justice. To me, the core question is, is this person inclined toward self transcendence are the inclined, desirous, self aware enough to be selfless. And there are questions and lessons that dual-faith couples face that zero-faith or single-faith households do not. I only hate one thing in the planet, and that's the Mormon church. I, too, am the wife of a doctor dermatology resident. It gives people a sense of purpose, while pressuring them to be 'good' by their book. The hardest thing is the feeling of being completely shut out.
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If you have children how will they be raised. Is it wrong to make those types of sacrifices. I feel very sad sometimes but I try to stay strong. No one should feel excluded from the House of the Lord. I don't see anywhere in your post where there is a complete commitment. And of course, when it happens, no one the leaver or the faithful spouse could have predicted it. She's already past her prime in the Mormon dating market. Make an honest effort, and see if you reach the walk-away point. I'd suggest taking issue with things that specifically bug you the most.
Real love just happens. I decided to sort of play along because she was amazing and I didn't believe some of the things she was telling me she actually believed. These are things your wife may consider matter-of-fact and you may be surprised by if you don't discuss them now. There is no question that God loves all of His children, and that obviously includes non-members. Mormonism is a lot more controlling and has a lot more downsides. They do exist and you deserve that.