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I also remember my father a stake president telling me the night before I got married that every single couple he had counseled through marriage struggles were not reading their scriptures or praying together every night. I explained to her that from my perspective, if a religious person does something good, you can't trust them because they're doing it for the wrong reasons: When an atheist does something good, you know they're not doing it for any reason other than to help someone else. I am so happy to have found this blog. There is the possibility that she will wise up over time, but not likely.
Ask her right out if she is at all interested in leaving TSCC. A more unfortunate soul needs him right now as much as I need him. I don't want a life of paranoia and loneliness but she is the person I want to be with and I want to ask her the most important question of my life this summer. I learned, growing up, that very principle, that you HAD to marry a member or your marriage was doomed. We should all remember this is a human being, and she has a brain. There is still a chance you can work out your differences, but it will require major concessions on both sides. I recall reading a talk from Elder Nelson in which he indicated that the church teaches general principles and does not spend time teaching exceptions to general principles.